Pamoja

“Mom, why did we have to move to Kenya?”

I’d just hung a small piece of artwork today in this child’s room to remind them of Nashville. It happened to be in this child’s direct line of vision as they were supposed to be drifting off to sleep. If you’re a human reading this (I’m not sure what else you’d be, but I digress…), then I imagine you’ve also experienced the “head hits the pillow” syndrome. In my non-medical opinion, things always seem worse in your heart and mind right when you’re about to fall asleep.

I remember my own mom having to comfort me as a child at night when I was scheduled to get a tooth filled the next day- that yes, I would be able to continue eating solid foods in life and no, I would not waste away into nothingness and be destined to eat Gerber Graduates Stage 2’s for the rest of my days.

Today had actually been a great day for all of us- lots of meals with friends, and plenty of playtime in the Kenyan sunshine. Regardless, these kids have endured a lot in the last year and a half of their little lives. We are asking a lot of them. So when the tear-filled wails came- “America is my home! I was born there and it’s my home and now I’m not even going to see it for years!” – we let them come.

It was sweet, though. Another sibling came in to ask why they were sad, and we had the opportunity just to sit and be sad together for a minute. Part of the grieving process is naming what you’ve lost. So we named some things. Then we talked about how God calls us to do hard things for Him, but it’s always worth it. My husband also reminded us that we’re doing this pamoja- together- so it’s good that we can talk about it.

Then we had a good laugh about something funny from today, and got everybody tucked back in.

Oh, to erase the ache from my child’s heart. And, oh, to erase the ache from my own… But we will keep turning to Christ, who reminds me that hard things for Him are always worth it, because He is always worth it.